And it sent me back to July 30th, a conversation I had with Fred our driver and Geoff, the band's production manager. It was before the accident, before the acceptance into the family, and before what changes that happened occurred.
The last time I though about an alligator, I was riding in Florida, just past the Everglades. I was not sitting at the local county fair with my two little cousins watching an animal show in the summer's blazing heat. I was talking to our driver about how he hadn't seen any alligators on the road the night before, a rare occurrence around the Everglades.
The view from the front seat in the bus of a city we passed by, early one morning in Florida.
But, having these little triggers, these little images, sounds, or even smells send me right back to the nights of the tour. The pain that remains still in my arm reminds me of the accident too.
I dream about it, and think about it every time I get into a car, drive onto the ferry, or get on a plane. I think about the numbers, the statistics...
Here are lifetime statistics of you dying in various ways from popculturemadness.com:
Air Travel Accident odds: 1-in-20,000
Motor Vehicle Accident odds: 1-in-100
Drowning odds: 1-in-8,942
I'm not a pessimist... I'm a realist.
-Maddie
1 comment:
Yee haw. Those ARE sucky odds.
But when you think about how many crew/band members die in bus crashes, I'd say your being in an accident at all is a mere blip on the radar.
At least, now that I've discovered your blog, I hope the radar doesn't blip again and you remain in that 99 who're safe.
Hang in there. What you're feeling is all part of the healing process.
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